Category Archives: Homdel High School

When You’ve Got To Go

An eye raising story comes from the town of Kenilworth, New Jersey. The coaches and staff of Homdel High School had been plagued with regular sightings of human feces around the football field. Employees of the school district immediately began investigating after witnesses reported the issue.

Human poop in public is a point of concern for safety and sanitation. Had I been in that position, I would’ve had no idea what to expect. Even reading the news story, my imagination went wild with the possibilities of who could be behind the incident. The culprit turned out to be the last person most of us would ever suspect to be responsible for such vile behavior.

In a surprising turn of events, the superintendent of the Kenilworth school district was arrested early on a Monday morning while going on a run around the Holmdel High track. All parties involved took every course of action to deal with such gross misconduct. The superintendent has been relieved of his duties with pay, pending an indictment. The school official is facing several charges having to do with littering, lewdness, and defecating in public.

I can understand the urgency of a bowel movement right in the middle of a workout. However, witnesses reported regularly finding feces on the school’s property, which means this had become a routine for the public officer. If the superintendent was so consistently regular and – according to news reports – lived just a few miles away, I would expect him to be able to come up with a more sophisticated plan for his morning dumps. If you’ve ever heard the term “don’t crap where you eat”, well, this man should never have gone where he works.